Sympathy vs Empathy

"I know exactly how you feel!"

Do you? Really?

For the most part, our intent is good. We strive to connect, to help, and to protect. Yet more often than not, we end up creating a place of pain and distance because we truly can't know what it is like. Perhaps you have been through something similar. Maybe the circumstances are pretty dang close! Yet we all feel and experience everything differently.

Sympathy is what we often give people when we attempt to help out a person. We say something, maybe it's nice, but it never really helps.

I had a professor once who told me of a conversation he overheard. A mother lost her child. She turns to her friend and asks,

"Why would God take my child from me?"

The friend responded, "Maybe He knew your child would end up in drugs and wanted to spare you the pain."

Woh!!!!!!!!!! Ok, the friend was obviously trying to help and give sympathy. There is no doubt that the response comes from a place of caring. How does that really help? Can any response really help?

Empathy is similar, yet different. It is sitting with a person in their pain. It is giving them a shoulder to cry on. It is stepping back from our need to fix the situation or make something uncomfortable feel better. It is sharing in the moment, sharing in the pain, sharing in the blessing of your spirit reaching out to comfort theirs.

When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. "Where have you laid him?" he asked.

"Come and see, Lord," they replied. Jesus wept. (John 11:33-35 NIV)

What is Worship?

Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts. - 1 Chronicles 16:9

I grew up in a Lutheran church, which is definitely a traditional kind of worship. Hymns are sung, scripture is read together, we sing the kyrie, pray together, and the service feels very respectful and worshipful. On the other hand, I find myself attracted to contemporary churches like the Chapel. In those services, worship is led by a band of contemporary music, and the minister gives a really good sermon. It's very free form, gentle, and simple. It is very powerful and worshipful.
I've had debates about whether or not one type of service is better than another. Honestly? They are both better! In his book Ancient-Future Worship, Robert E. Webber says, "We need liturgical churches; we need contemporary churches. Both have a place in God's church." I went up to Mt. Angel Monastery once some 10 years ago. One of my companions asked of the monk, "If you believe in spreading the Gospel, why do you shut yourself away from society up here on this mountain?" Obviously this guy was being a stick-in-the-mud. The monk had a wonderful answer: "We're here," he says, "because society needs an example of what devoting your life to God can look like."

What is it about worship that makes it, well, worship? It seems in the liturgical churches that it's a formula, ritualistic and scripted. In contemporary churches it seems random, giddy, and in some churches, wild. Worship is giving praise to God in the way He created us to be. It isn't about us, but about lifting ourselves up to God, and walking away knowing we are serving our God. Worship is a daily thing, not done just in church, but in everything we do.